I Turned 104 Today!

Time sure flies by while getting old!

Today I turned a 104. How did I advance in age so quickly? Well, here's what happened, today being Monday is a visit to Primrose day for Dad. During our drive to Primrose, Dad was very quiet, looking out the window and trying to make sense of things. When we arrived at the Primrose parking lot, he looked at the building and recognized where he was and that's a good thing. We took our usual walk to the building where he stays during his visit there.

As we entered the building, we walked to the kitchen where the Director and an other employee were doing some work. They looked at Dad and give him his usual welcome, "Hi Dave! How are you?" Dad similes and asks, "Have you met my Dad?" And he looks over to me. For a split second everyone assess to see if he's joking or serious. It is very clear from his body language that he is serious. The Director responses to Dad with a big simile and says, "Why yes, we've met." And Dad says, "Oh, good." And he goes and takes his place with the others. Those of you who know my Dad well, know when he is serious and when he's joking. He was serious this morning.

So that's how I aged to 104 today, the age my grandfather would have been if he were still alive. It's not fun getting old...

Dad's Parents (He keeps this photo in his wallet)

Conversations with Dad

Conversation 1: The time is 12:30 a.m. and I hear Dad in the dining room so I get out of  bed to go check on him. He's just sitting in the dining room in the dark waiting. I startle him when I enter the room and ask him what's going on. He said, "I'm waiting to get a ride home." I replied with, "You are home and it's 12:30 in the morning, go back to your room and go to sleep, I'm going to the bathroom." He says okay and gets up from the chair and he heads towards his room. I go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom I hear the bells on the front door jiggling (the bells are there to alert us when he's trying to go out the door). In my mind I'm saying "damn, damn!" So I hurry and you know how that goes when you try to hurry. Fortunately, Shelley heard the bells too and she took over dealing with Dad. I went back to bed and Shelley spoke with him to calm him down and reassure him.

Conversation 2: It is now 2:20 a.m. and I hear Dad in the dining room again. Once again I get out of bed to go check on him and as I do so Shelley whispers, "Be patient." I enter the dining room and ask Dad, "What's going on?" He asks me if I have the number for his home on Ceralvo Street, "So I can call someone to come and get me." (Dad has not lived on Ceralvo Street since 1969.) Heeding Shelley's advice, I sit down to talk to him. Dad proceeds to tell that his army buddies have been furloughed and are heading home and he wants to go home too. I tell him that San Antonio is about 2,000 miles away and that he is staying with us now. Dad continues the conversation by telling about his day at Primrose. He tells me about the different people there and how they all speak different languages. He says he thinks they all have the same problem with "This "dementia stuff that doesn't help him one bit."

Now about 20 minutes into conversation 2, Dad asks me if I knew where "Jay was taking the car load of cousins?" I now realize he does not know that he is speaking to me, his son. I'd been expecting this to eventually happen but I was still not emotionally prepared as I held back tears. A few minutes later he's taking to me again with the realization that I am his son.

He continues to speak to me about his thoughts on people and their differences. I am surprised to hear his prejudices and stereotypes about different ethnic groups and his explanation of why they are "that way." It is now 3:00 a.m. and I can hardly stay awake. I suggest we go to bed and continue our conversation in the morning. He agrees and goes to bed, this time escort him to his room.

Conversation 3: It is now 11:15 a.m. and I wake Dad up so he can eat his breakfast. As he walks to the dining table I ask him about our conversation earlier this morning. He looks at me puzzled and says, "What conversation?"

For some unknown reason Dad has had a rough few days and has been quite agitated. He even had "words" with the relative of one of his Primrose cohorts during a social event at the facility. It is now 3:00 p.m. and he is sitting watching TV. I'm writing this post trying to keep from falling asleep...

Dad laughing because he forgot to comb his hair after his shower.