A Sunday Afternoon Visit With Dad

This past Sunday, March 18th, Bruce and Bonnie joined me for a visit with Dad. Dad was in a very good mood and talkative, he even joked a bit. Dad even spoke with Joyce on my cell and, as usual, they both started to cry.

For about 8 weeks now Dad has not eaten very much but he does well drinking fluids especially milk. When Dad entered the nursing home almost a year ago he weighed 146 lbs and since then has lost weight and is now to 123 lbs. We encourage him to eat and for the last couple of weeks has eaten more of his meals; he eats about 25% of some meals. He is still weak and needs a wheelchair for mobility.

Dad is in a bit of an up-swing in the up-and-down world of dementia. As such I was able to record a short video where he says hi to everyone but he is also very emotional. Here is Dad saying hello to his family in Texas:

Here is a picture of Bruce speaking with Joyce, while Bonnie looks to see what I'm doing:

Here is another picture of Dad with a big smile for everyone:

Till next time!

"Going North to Go South" - When Life's Directions Change

On February 25, my brother Bruce and I drove to San Antonio, Texas to visit our Mother. Mom, like Dad and her sister, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Mom is currently receiving hospice care and since Bruce and I live in the San Francisco Bay Area (about 1850 miles from San Antonio) we felt the need to visit her perhaps for the last time.

"Going North to Go South" is how Bruce described the beginning of our trip when family and friends asked about our trip (he's in Redwood City and I'm in Santa Rosa). However, those words have a far deeper meaning.

My sister, brother, and I had no idea that our parents would end up in nursing homes because dementia would rob them of their memories and abilities to care for themselves. We expected to be able to have normal conversations with them about our lives and the memories we shared. Instead, we've had to adapt to life's direction and changed course. So for the moment we are going North, a different direction than we anticipated in our younger days. And we are making the most of this journey with the support of our families and friends.

Here are some of our moments with Mom:

In our hearts we know Mom knew we are her children.

Our last day in San Antonio saying good-bye.

Mom knew we were leaving...

And across town in another nursinghome is our Aunt Vicky. So much of our childhood was spent with our aunt and cousins. Here we are our Aunt:

Aunt Vicky and her son Richard

Me and my Aunt

We were able to visit other family members on our trip:

Our Aunt Theresa and Uncle Paul (Dad's brother)

Our Uncle Leo and Aunt Noemi (Tia Mimi )Dad's sister

Our cousins Martha and Rene (aka Gabriel) invited us to dinner with other family members.

Our Uncle Joe (Dad's Brother) suffered a mild stroke prior to our visit.

And finally, Bruce, thinking about the return trip and having , this time, to go North to go South.