One of the challenges we deal with each time we visit Dad is to get past "the stare." As we approach him, he looks at us with suspicion and apprehension. His facial features say, "Who are you and what do you want?" After a few minutes he will begin to relax since we've shown no signs of wanting him to do things he doesn't want to do.
One visit a few weeks ago, he was very upset and wanted to know where were his children. Dad's daughter, Joyce, tried to reassure him that his children were right there in the room with him. But he couldn't see them. He kept getting more and more agitated and asked, "Are they okay?" Once again Joyce tried to reassure him but to no avail. Then it dawned on me that we were strangers and the children he was worried about were young children, not grown ups, not us. We told him his children were fine and at home then he calmed down.
Each visit presents varying challenges of how to interact with Dad and his mood. Sometimes we just make small talk based on observations or what he seems to be interested at that moment. When he is upset we try to comfort him. Sometimes we'll play some music or show him a short video. He will usually respond with a stare, sometimes with laughter or a smile, but most of the time he will just cry.
This video demonstrates our challenges with interacting with Dad:
On May 18, 2015 We (Joyce, Shelley & Jay) attended the quarterly "care" meeting at the facility. We were informed that Dad is doing quite well physically. His weight is up to 145 lbs. He is eating well and loves the sweets. The facility recently held an ice cream party and Dad ate two large bowls with all the toppings. However, mentally, he continues to deteriorate. But that is expected, however difficult it is to see.
Here are some photos from recent visits:
Shelley and Joyce with Dad.
Joyce trying to comfort Dad.
Joyce, Dad and me acting silly.
Dad's sadness.
Waiting for lunch with other residents.
Shelley feeding Dad.
With Shelley's help, Dad ate all his lunch.
Dad with Shelley, me, and his great-granddaughter Venice.
Thank you for reading, It's Not Fun Getting Old and please let me know what you think of the new design.
