Dad Adjusting to Life at Pine Ridge - Not Easy, But Making Progress

Dad has now been at the Pine Ridge Care Center for over a month now and is beginning to adjust to a new routine, which can be very difficult for dementia patients. Shelley and I try to visit Dad three to four times a week and Tabitha does the same depending on her schedule.

Dad & Shelley during one of our visits.

When we visit, we make it a point to go around different meal times to help him make the most of his dining experience. When his food is brought to him, the dishes, cups, and glasses are covered to keep the contents warm. However, Dad is at a point in his dementia progression where he will not uncover his food automatically. He is not always sure how to lift a cover to get to his food so he'll skip a meal. Sometimes he is even confused about when to use a fork versus a spoon. So, when we are there we make sure all his food is uncovered and, if necessary, we cut his food into bite-size pieces. (We continually provide "feedback" to the staff so they can help him at the times when we are not there.)

He eventually ate everything and he has had a shave since this photo.

Yesterday, Saturday evening, we visited Dad along with Bruce and Bonnie. Dad was very happy to see us all, and he gets very emotional and weeps often.

During past visits with Dad we've called his brother Joe and his daughter Joyce so he could speak to them for a few minutes. Let me know if any of you would like to make similar arrangements.

Dad's latest story that he repeats quite often to all his fellow residents and care-givers, is about the courtyard slab (floor). As most of you know, Dad is a retired cement mason. So whenever he has the opportunity he will tell others how he finished the courtyard slab. He says it took him about a day to finished with no help. Most people play along and others just give him a quizzical look. Here's a photo of Dad pointing to "his work."

Well that's my update for May. I'll post another in June when Dad reaches 83.

New Beginnings Part Two

When I last updated this blog we had made arrangements for Dad to be admitted to The Rafael nursing home. However, too many problems and complications made me look for an alternative. And I found it!

Today has been a day with mixed emotions for me as I had Dad admitted to the Pine Ridge Care Center in San Rafael. We'd been preparing Dad for this day but, as I expected, he has no recollection of our discussions. In fact, I discussed it with him three times today about how he would now be in a place where he would receive better care on a 24/7 basis. All he said to me was, "I didn't know I was such a bother." His words hurt as I knew there was no way I could explain in a way that would make sense to him.

We walk around the facility and showed him the various features such as the patio, main dining room, and sitting areas. Shelley and Tabitha unpacked his bag and got him situated in his room while I sign all the admittance forms.

Dad has a room mate named Mario and he loves to talk in Spanish. Mario is from El Salvador and is confined to a wheelchair. He and his wife, Maria, are very nice and welcomed Dad with enthusiasm.

I will be visiting Dad on a regular basis as will Tabitha who lives one exit away. If any of you would like to send Dad cards or pictures, you can do so to the following address:

David Manriquez

c/o Pine Ridge Care Center

45 Professional Center Parkway

San Rafael, CA 94903

Here are a few photos I took of Dad getting settled in his room. We will be bringing his family pictures to put on his wall and some other personal items to make his room as comfortable as possible.

I asked Dad to try out his bed and this is how he positioned himself.

So I told him to loosen up and so he made this pose.

Shelley, Dad, and Tabitha

Shelley is trying to adjust his bed.

Now he is comfortable!

Around 5:15 p.m. Dad said he was hungry and by 5:30 he had been escorted to the dining room where he sat with three other residents. He didn't even notice we weren't in the room. We took this opportunity to quietly exit so as not to upset him.

I will continue to update this blog with Dad's progress. Also, if any family members would like to come to visit Dad, just let me know and I will help you make arrangements. You all know how to contact me if you have any questions.

Till next time and remember, it's not fun getting old!

A New Beginning

Spring time is a time of the year for renewal and growth. Next month, in the beginning of April, Dad will be moving into his new home, The Rafael. The Rafael is located in San Rafael, California, which is a few minutes drive from Tabitha and about 35 minutes from where Shelley and I live in Santa Rosa. The Rafael will be closer to Bruce too, making it easier for him to visit. By clicking on THE RAFAEL here, it will take you to their website where you can get see the types of services, rooms, and care he will receive.

Once he is settled in, I will provide you all with the information to send Dad cards. I will also continue to update this blog with pictures, videos, and stories related to Dad.

The timing is working out well as Dad has required much more help than what Shelley and I are able to provide. Dad cries on an almost daily basis because he knows something is wrong with him but he doesn't understand what is happening. Most evenings he is confused and will ask, "Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?' He will wander around at night, pacing up and down either looking for the bathroom or just trying to figure out where he is.

On good days, he tells his stories, laughs, and eats well. On typical days he just sits and thinks or sleeps.This coming week will be his last visits to Primrose where he came to really enjoy his visit with his peers and staff.

Here is a short video of one of the times I went to pick him up from spending the day at Primrose. He his finishing his dinner:

Enjoy the video!

Seems Like Only Yesterday

The Manriquez Family - Summer 1964

My Great-Grandmother, Me, Mom, & Grandma 1953

Me & Dad 1953

Dad Says Hello

I took this short RealPlayer video with my phone, so the quality is not all that great and I'm not sure how much you'll be able to hear. I asked him if he'd like to say hello to his brothers and sisters but he can't remember their names, so he looks at the family photo on the wall. He knows who you are...

Here are some photos of recent visits by Joyce, Bruce, Jeremy, Tabitha, and Kevin:

Dad's Latest Visit to the ER

We are becoming "regulars" at the Sutter Medical Center ER. Dad has visited the ER 3 times within a month. Here is what led to his latest visit (copied from an email I send Joyce and Bruce this morning):

Here's what happened. Dad is becoming increasingly obstinate and out of touch with what he can and cannot do. And, of course, he is weaker and loses his balance frequently (this past Sunday he fell 4 times of which I had to lift him 2 of those times and now I have a sore back). So yesterday, after seeing his doctor for a follow up, we stopped to get some burger since it was already 4:00 pm. I told him to go sit on his chair in his room and I'd bring him his food. Everything was set and ready. The next thing I know he is standing holding the TV folding table trying to figure out how it works. I go in and take the tray and tell him to sit down. Of course he is upset because I'm treating him like a child. As he turns around to sit, he loses his balance and falls sideways into the heater.

Now I'm struggling to lift him off the heater, that is on, and his foot is wedged under his bed so finally with Shelley's help we get him up and into his chair. He seems okay, just really pissed off and, not to be out done, I demonstrate that I am more pissed off because he won't listen to me. It gets ugly. And now he refuses to eat his lunch.
I am so upset I had to leave the house. I went to Target because I needed to pick up a new prescription for dad and get more Ensure and Depends. When I get back Shelley tells me that Dad is saying he's in pain and "It hurts like hell."
Shelley calls the nurse on call and he says to go to the ER. Getting ready to go to the ER, Shelley notices he's wet and she wants to change him. He doesn't want to be changed and is literally fighting us. I tell him his choice is to let me do it or I call the ambulance to have him restrained on the board. He relents somewhat and I get him changed.

At the ER, It's is deja-vu. Been here, done this, and it actually goes smoothly. What it comes down to is he has a fractured rib and is now on a heavy duty pain pill. It will take 6 week to heal and will take place at home. We are being given all this instructions on what to do and Shelley and I look at each with a look that says "[insert bad word]!"
So here I am writing to you two as my therapy and  because I'm trying to wake up after another bad night...
If you think this email is long, be grateful I didn't write the long version...

Today he seems to be doing better, however, he still refuses to use the walker and gave the nurses aide a bit of a difficult time for his bath. But it gotten done and he doesn't remember falling or the ER visit. This time, I told him, I took pictures to prove it!

Till next time!

A Traumatic Week

It is just after 1:00 a.m. Pacific Time, I am updating the blog while it's my shift to keep an eye on Dad. My daughter and her husband finished their shift a midnight, while Shelley and I slept. Shelley's shift begins at 5:00 a.m. We are taking turns because Dad has had a traumatic week with two ER visits, both by ambulance, and a 3-day hospital stay.

You all know how the week began from my previous post. Since his hospital release on Wednesday, Dad is supposed to be using a walker at all times. However, his dementia causes him to forget so we have to constantly remind him so that using a walker will become a pattern. Not an easy task!

This past Friday, Dad got out of bed to go to the bathroom, which is about 10 feet from his bed. As I was sitting at my computer in my office next to his bedroom, I heard a loud crash. As I quickly turned around I saw Dad laying face-down in the hallway between his bedroom and the bathroom. Rushing over to help, I notice blood coming out his right side and I could not move him. I yelled to Shelley to call 911 and within minutes the paramedics were here followed by the fire department.

The paramedics were great and as soon as I mentioned that he is suffering from dementia they provided the appropriate assistance. Once again Dad's sense of humor was in action. As the paramedics were assessing his injuries, they had to move his head to which Dad said, "Hey, my head's not a basketball!"

We arrived at the Sutter Medical Center ER around 5:45 p.m. on Friday and there we stayed until 12:30 a.m. Saturday. My wonderful daughter stayed with me and Dad, while Shelley and Kevin, my son-in-law, waited in the hospital's "quiet room." Tabitha helped me reassure Dad and repeated to him what was happening. A few times Dad did not remember who she was. Tabitha held his hand and spoke soothingly to him.

It was a busy Friday night at the ER. In the bed next to Dad was an 89 year old stroke victim that was not expected to make it through the night. Even though the curtains were draw we could hear all that was going on and the very difficult decision the family had to make. He was later transported to a special facility in San Francisco.

About an hour later, another person was brought in by the police. This person was hearing voices and wanted an x-ray taken of his head so he could prove that "chip" had been implanted in his head. It was an X-Files episode.

Finally, in the wee hours of Saturday, Dad was completely checked out, clean-up, and ready to go home. After getting him to bed at 1:00 a.m. I stayed up with him util 5:00 a.m when Shelley relieved me and I got 4 hours of a deep, sound sleep. So here I am 24 hours later on my second shift of Dad watch.

A traumatic week for us all!

This is the Sutter Medical Center of Santa Rosa, CA where Dad  spent most of the week.