Alzheimer's: Our Legacy

An Alzheimer's legacy is not received with joy and anticipation. Yet we all have a choice as to how we view life - either optimistically or pessimistically - despite whatever challenges we must confront. No one can predict what will happen tomorrow but we can predict what our life would be like if we choose to face tomorrow optimistically.

Why Alzheimer's is Our Legacy 
By one degree or another, Alzheimer's touches us all. In my family's case our risk factor is high because both parents have been diagnosed with this brutal disease without a cure. Currently, we are witnessing both parents progress through the seven stages with both teetering between the sixth and seventh stage. Consequently, we can look at our situation and feel doomed, while waiting for a perceived eventuality OR we can take a positive action approach and make every day matter by doing something positive.

Dad is in a nursing home here in California, while Mom is in a nursing home in San Antonio, Texas. They separated in 1964 and divorced several years later. They always maintained a good relationship, doing things as a family (see photos below).

Whether I or anyone else in my family becomes afflicted with Alzheimer's remains to be seen. Knowing the risk factors motives me to live my life to the fullest and optimistically. To all my friends and family, I encourage you to take positive steps in your life to live it to the fullest and leave a legacy of optimism.

Steps to Take a Positive Approach:

1. Resolve to improve oneself though increased learning and self-development. Increase your brain power. Strive to learn a new language, understand calculus, or read a book-a-week on topics you normally would not be interested in pursuing. It is never too late to educate oneself! FACT: 19% of Alzheimer's cases are attributed to low educational attainment.
2. Stop smoking! Make the effort, seek support. FACT: Smoking contributes to 14% of Alzheimer's cases.
3. Get moving! Exercise, walk, bike, swim, garden, do whatever it takes to lead an active life. FACT: Physical inactivity is the greatest contributor to Alzheimer's by 21%! 

My source and link to more information: click here

Understanding Alzheimer's Impact
I highly recommend viewing the HBO documentary: The Alzheimer's Project - Clicking on the link will take to were you can view the documentary on-line. You will need a box of tissue, I have never cried so much through a video as I did with this heart-wrenching account on Alzheimer's impact.

Mom & Dad on their Wedding Day - December 1952

When Mom was Younger

This photo was taken April 2005 - Mom was already showing signs of dementia -  We hadn't noticed that Dad too was showing signs. My sister Joyce and my niece Taylor are also pictured.

Your thoughts are welcomed!

We Remember for Dad

Today is June 19th and it is my father's special day. It is the only date he remembers now. When anyone asks him what day he was born, he is quick to say, "June 19, 1928." But when I ask him what day is today, he says he can't think of it.

Shelley and I spent some time with Dad this afternoon. I read him a card he received from his sister Noemi that made him smile, especially when I read the part that said the card was from "Chata." Shelley then called Joyce so she could talk with Dad. Telephone conversations are difficult for Dad as he gets very emotional. So every visit I give Dad the latest family updates that I get from Facebook or from emails from family. He does seem to enjoy hearing family news.

Dad looking at the card his sister Noemi sent him.

On Friday, June 17th, I took Dad to see his neurologist. Doctor Cokgor diagnosed Dad at the beginning of Stage 7 Alzheimer's (That is the last stage characterized as severe). The condition seems to be progressing rapidly - at least it seems that way to me. Even at this late stage, he could hang-on for years and it breaks my heart to see the man that once was disappear. For all of us, family and friends, who know Dad, it is our memories of his life that I retell for him at every visit. Sometimes he'll give me a quizzical look and say, "I did that?"

So if any of you friends and family that have stories you'd like me to tell Dad then please post it here or send me an email and I'll read it to him. I always start my visit with him by telling him the latest.

This video is of Dad talking to his daughter Joyce in San Antonio. 

Dad Adjusting to Life at Pine Ridge - Not Easy, But Making Progress

Dad has now been at the Pine Ridge Care Center for over a month now and is beginning to adjust to a new routine, which can be very difficult for dementia patients. Shelley and I try to visit Dad three to four times a week and Tabitha does the same depending on her schedule.

Dad & Shelley during one of our visits.

When we visit, we make it a point to go around different meal times to help him make the most of his dining experience. When his food is brought to him, the dishes, cups, and glasses are covered to keep the contents warm. However, Dad is at a point in his dementia progression where he will not uncover his food automatically. He is not always sure how to lift a cover to get to his food so he'll skip a meal. Sometimes he is even confused about when to use a fork versus a spoon. So, when we are there we make sure all his food is uncovered and, if necessary, we cut his food into bite-size pieces. (We continually provide "feedback" to the staff so they can help him at the times when we are not there.)

He eventually ate everything and he has had a shave since this photo.

Yesterday, Saturday evening, we visited Dad along with Bruce and Bonnie. Dad was very happy to see us all, and he gets very emotional and weeps often.

During past visits with Dad we've called his brother Joe and his daughter Joyce so he could speak to them for a few minutes. Let me know if any of you would like to make similar arrangements.

Dad's latest story that he repeats quite often to all his fellow residents and care-givers, is about the courtyard slab (floor). As most of you know, Dad is a retired cement mason. So whenever he has the opportunity he will tell others how he finished the courtyard slab. He says it took him about a day to finished with no help. Most people play along and others just give him a quizzical look. Here's a photo of Dad pointing to "his work."

Well that's my update for May. I'll post another in June when Dad reaches 83.

New Beginnings Part Two

When I last updated this blog we had made arrangements for Dad to be admitted to The Rafael nursing home. However, too many problems and complications made me look for an alternative. And I found it!

Today has been a day with mixed emotions for me as I had Dad admitted to the Pine Ridge Care Center in San Rafael. We'd been preparing Dad for this day but, as I expected, he has no recollection of our discussions. In fact, I discussed it with him three times today about how he would now be in a place where he would receive better care on a 24/7 basis. All he said to me was, "I didn't know I was such a bother." His words hurt as I knew there was no way I could explain in a way that would make sense to him.

We walk around the facility and showed him the various features such as the patio, main dining room, and sitting areas. Shelley and Tabitha unpacked his bag and got him situated in his room while I sign all the admittance forms.

Dad has a room mate named Mario and he loves to talk in Spanish. Mario is from El Salvador and is confined to a wheelchair. He and his wife, Maria, are very nice and welcomed Dad with enthusiasm.

I will be visiting Dad on a regular basis as will Tabitha who lives one exit away. If any of you would like to send Dad cards or pictures, you can do so to the following address:

David Manriquez

c/o Pine Ridge Care Center

45 Professional Center Parkway

San Rafael, CA 94903

Here are a few photos I took of Dad getting settled in his room. We will be bringing his family pictures to put on his wall and some other personal items to make his room as comfortable as possible.

I asked Dad to try out his bed and this is how he positioned himself.

So I told him to loosen up and so he made this pose.

Shelley, Dad, and Tabitha

Shelley is trying to adjust his bed.

Now he is comfortable!

Around 5:15 p.m. Dad said he was hungry and by 5:30 he had been escorted to the dining room where he sat with three other residents. He didn't even notice we weren't in the room. We took this opportunity to quietly exit so as not to upset him.

I will continue to update this blog with Dad's progress. Also, if any family members would like to come to visit Dad, just let me know and I will help you make arrangements. You all know how to contact me if you have any questions.

Till next time and remember, it's not fun getting old!

A New Beginning

Spring time is a time of the year for renewal and growth. Next month, in the beginning of April, Dad will be moving into his new home, The Rafael. The Rafael is located in San Rafael, California, which is a few minutes drive from Tabitha and about 35 minutes from where Shelley and I live in Santa Rosa. The Rafael will be closer to Bruce too, making it easier for him to visit. By clicking on THE RAFAEL here, it will take you to their website where you can get see the types of services, rooms, and care he will receive.

Once he is settled in, I will provide you all with the information to send Dad cards. I will also continue to update this blog with pictures, videos, and stories related to Dad.

The timing is working out well as Dad has required much more help than what Shelley and I are able to provide. Dad cries on an almost daily basis because he knows something is wrong with him but he doesn't understand what is happening. Most evenings he is confused and will ask, "Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?' He will wander around at night, pacing up and down either looking for the bathroom or just trying to figure out where he is.

On good days, he tells his stories, laughs, and eats well. On typical days he just sits and thinks or sleeps.This coming week will be his last visits to Primrose where he came to really enjoy his visit with his peers and staff.

Here is a short video of one of the times I went to pick him up from spending the day at Primrose. He his finishing his dinner:

Enjoy the video!

Seems Like Only Yesterday

The Manriquez Family - Summer 1964

My Great-Grandmother, Me, Mom, & Grandma 1953

Me & Dad 1953

Dad Says Hello

I took this short RealPlayer video with my phone, so the quality is not all that great and I'm not sure how much you'll be able to hear. I asked him if he'd like to say hello to his brothers and sisters but he can't remember their names, so he looks at the family photo on the wall. He knows who you are...

Here are some photos of recent visits by Joyce, Bruce, Jeremy, Tabitha, and Kevin: