July 1, 2010
Early this morning at approximately 2:50 a.m. I was startled awake when I heard the doorbell ring. I jumped out of bed in an anxious state because when someone is ringing your doorbell in the early morning hours you know it's probably bad news. I reluctantly peeked out the window hoping I wouldn't see police officers coming to inform me of some tragic event. Instead, it was Dad standing at the front door!
I quickly unlocked AND unlatched the door to let him inside. He said to me as he entered the apartment, "I must have locked myself out." and pointing to the carport he asked, "Is that your car?" Still half asleep I demanded to know what he was doing outside at almost 3:00 in the morning! Then it dawned on me, "How did he come to be outside when the door was locked from the inside?!!" I quickly went to the back door to find it completely secured and locked. I then check his bedroom window to find it also secured. Completely puzzled, I quizzed Dad, hoping he might remember something (he didn't). I got him back to bed by 3:10 a.m. and I laid in bed till 4:00 trying to figure out how he got out and how the heck did the door lock and latch get set from the inside! I ran every possible scenario with Shelley and nothing makes sense.
This feeling of nothing making sense must be what it's like for Dad everyday! I hope the rest of the day turns out better.
I remember my Uncle voicing this comment at Elsa's husband funeral. It is hard seeing parents grow old but worse when an illness beyond their control takes over. All we can do is hug them, love them and be their for them. Thanks for the pics...I see my brother Ed looking at those pics...Lots of love you way Uncle David
ReplyDeleteJay,I think you are right in your thinking that we can control our days to a certain extent, by how we think and feel that day. On the other hand our loved ones suffering and dealing with dementia they are not in control even on the "good days". It is as if their thoughts are swirling around in their heads and when they try to retrieve them they are more than likely to be very mixed. Like you mentioned some real and some unconnected with the other...but they do try and if we can we just try to make them safe and secure..Not an easy task because we must at times make sure they follow some sort of routine that they do NOT want to follow..they are loosing control of so many things we must "pick our battles" carefully and lovingly.
ReplyDeleteI see how hard it is for you, even more difficult than for me at times. But I know that you will always do your best and that is all anyone can expect. I will always support you. Even though at times I also would love to "get off this crazy merry-go-round. Just Hang In There.
shelley
Thanks for the updates on Uncle David...give him a big hug from me...love him so much...
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