One mindset is "no way to know," that is whether I or my siblings are doomed to face the same sentence, after all look at the odds. This is a reactive approach, as the tendency is to deal with the problem as it occurs. Fatalistic if you ask me.
The other mindset is "know way to no," or no-way will I let this get the best of me. I need to "know" as much information as possible to live a healthy and happy "mode de vie." Daily I must cultivate a mindset that responds with an emphatic "No!" to Alzheimer's. The only control I have is my own attitude or mindset as to how I address life's issues: proactively or re-actively, positively or negatively, resigned or determined.
I am determined in making my parents remaining lucidity as comforting as possible. I know that each time I speak to them (mom on the phone or dad in person) I try to live in their moment. To be empathetic to their concerns and comfort them. I will sit with dad and help him enjoy his meal by cutting his food into manageable pieces and reflect on other meals we enjoyed together. With mom, I listen to her trying to communicate her fears to me and respond to the desperation in her voice. I try to calm them and reassure them, for the moment at least, and then be prepared to do it all over again on the next visit. It is heartbreaking, but such is the reality of life. This we know, but we can all say NO! to letting it get the best of us and realize we are making the most of our lives now...in this moment.
Here are some pictures of recent visits with Dad:
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| Shelley help dad by cutting his food. He doesn't always remember when to use the proper utensil. |
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| Here he is, with a big smile, waiting to see his doctor. |
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| These are the parakeets that are constantly chirping away when I visit dad. He says those birds were the same ones that bothered him when he finished the courtyard slab he says he worked on many years ago. I just let believe what he wants to. |
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