As Time Goes By...

A lot has happened since my last update. First of all Dad spent September 9th through 13th at Bruce & Bonnie's place in Redwood City. The trip got off to a rocky start when just prior to driving him over to Bruce's, Dad's upper dentures broke in-half. Bonnie made arrangements with their dentist to get them repaired and was able to get his a good discount. On their way back from the dentist, Dad was going up the stairs from their garage to the living room when he fell backwards down the stairs! They all spent most of Saturday in the Emergency Room at a local hospital and after tests, x-rays, etc., the results showed no broken bones or concussion. A few days later when he was back with us in Santa Rosa, we took him for a follow-up with his regular doctor. He still has soreness in his right shoulder and if it doesn't get better in about 2 weeks, he may need some physical therapy. Overall, he is doing fine. However, the dementia is a different story.

As time goes by we are seeing the loss of his memory progress. Today I showed him the following picture that Brenda Martinez, Uncle Joe's daughter, sent on Facebook:

I asked him if he recognized these people. He gazed at the picture for what seemed at least a minute or two. Then he said, "I think so." He added, "They are on some program..." Finally, I pointed him out in the picture and he looked at me puzzled, looked back at the picture and he said, "I don't wear ties." When I pointed out his brother Paul, sister Noemi, and brother Joe, he just looked even more puzzled and said, "Really?"

It is so very sad to lose your memory. After all, we've lived our lives building memories and experiences that we can reflect on in our old age. But when you lose those precious memories, all you have is a shell of a life that once was.

Time Flies Whether Your having Fun or Not!

So the best thing to do is to enjoy every moment of your life! It has been a little over a month since my last post and much has happened during that period.

On Friday, July 30, Dad went to spend the weekend with Bruce and family in Redwood City, which is about 85 miles south from where we live in Santa Rosa. Drive time is about 2 hours and that requires a "rest" stop in San Francisco, which about the half-way mark. When we arrived at Bruce's we all went out to dinner at Celia's Mexican Restaurant (It is one of the closest Mexican restaurants that have San Antonio style cuisine). On Sunday Bruce and Bonnie drove Dad back to Santa Rosa and they were caught in nightmare traffic so they couldn't long to visit.

Then on August 18th Joyce flew in from San Antonio to care for Dad while Shelley and I traveled to Southern California with Tabitha and her husband Kevin. This was our first real vacation break in a few years and we really appreciated the time off! Meanwhile, Joyce was able to spend quality time with Dad. She even got him on a schedule of taking a shower every other day!

Now some behind the scenes news. On July 29th, the day before we took Dad to Bruce's place, Shelley had suffered a "mild" heart attack. She is doing fine and her doctor had cleared her for travel. However, our life has changed again. We are very aware of how things can change in the wink of an eye. Now Shelley has new medications to take, a diet to watch, and having to learn to read internal signs of what her body is telling her. Like I said at the beginning, she is doing fine and I'm proud of her positive attitude she has developed (of course some credit goes to our little vacation too).

Next week on September 9th, Dad is going to spend  about 5 days with Bruce - bonding time!

Here we are on our way back home on August 24th and it is 105 in the shade!

Words of Wisdom from Dad's Sister

Dad's "younger" sister, Noemi, wrote the following in an email: "I keep telling my three kids to love each other, accept each other and always stay close to each other so that when they get old like us, they won't have any regrets and say like so many people do, 'IF only I had done such and such or IF only I had been like such and such'."

Yes, I'm sure that counsel is familiar to us all, yet why do we find it so difficult to heed? I remember on the aftermath of 9/11 hearing similar words. Everyone was examining what was really important in life because one never knows what will happen tomorrow. Family, friends, relationships took to the forefront of what is important in life. However, as time passed, family, friends, and relationships have once again taken a back seat to the unimportant things in life. Let's not wait for another tragedy to bring family and friends together. Let's encourage, support and love one another and follow Aunt Noemi's words of wisdom!

Picture on the left: David (Dad) & Noemi. Picture on the right: Noemi, Paul, David, Rachel, Rebecca, and Joe (Brothers & Sisters).

Share Your It's Not Fun Getting Old Stories

I invite all you friends and family out there in cyber land to send me your personal stories about our experiences getting old. We'd love to hear stories about what you've heard from our parents, especially now since they are all in their 70s and 80s. I know my Dad is starting to mix up his remembrances with a little fact and a lot of fiction.

Being so much older now, I have especially fond memories of being a kid at Grandma & Grandpa's house. Here are a few pics to jog your memory. Thanks to Aunt Noemi for sending the pictures.

Those were the days!

Email me pics and stories or just post your thoughts on the comments section.

What's the Difference Between a Good Day & a Bad Day?

Perhaps the biggest difference is my attitude. When I'm tired and feel the futility of Dad's dementia, I send out vibes that I'm angry or upset (and I am and he senses it). When I focus on what the disease is doing and how it is controlling Dad, I realize what's happening is not an intentional  act on Dad's part to make our life miserable. The dementia causes him to live in a constant state of confusion. So being understanding and compassionate with Dad helps to make it a good day.

Dad has his good and bad days. Sometimes it is hard to tell which is which. On a good day you can get him to laugh and joke; on a bad day he sleeps and when he is awake he has a confused look (you can see it in his eyes).

A good day looks like this:

A bad day looks like this:

So in order to have more good days, I need to have a positive attitude regardless of how the dementia is affecting Dad.

What are your thoughts when your doorbell rings at 2:50 in the morning?

July 1, 2010

Early this morning at approximately 2:50 a.m. I was startled awake when I heard the doorbell ring. I jumped out of bed in an anxious state because when someone is ringing your doorbell in the early morning hours you know it's probably bad news. I reluctantly peeked out the window hoping I wouldn't see police officers coming to inform me of some tragic event. Instead, it was Dad standing at the front door!

I quickly unlocked AND unlatched the door to let him inside. He said to me as he entered the apartment, "I must have locked myself out." and pointing to the carport he asked, "Is that your car?" Still half asleep I demanded to know what he was doing outside at almost 3:00 in the morning! Then it dawned on me, "How did he come to be outside when the door was locked from the inside?!!" I quickly went to the back door to find it completely secured and locked. I then check his bedroom window to find it also secured. Completely puzzled, I quizzed Dad, hoping he might remember something (he didn't). I got him back to bed by 3:10 a.m. and I laid in bed till 4:00 trying to figure out how he got out and how the heck did the door lock and latch get set from the inside! I ran every possible scenario with Shelley and nothing makes sense.

This feeling of nothing making sense must be what it's like for Dad everyday! I hope the rest of the day turns out better.